Over my morning coffee, I was reminded of the nuances and power of forgiveness. Without forgiveness we can remain stuck in our heads and our “poor me” stories of victimhood.
Forgiveness is not something to be taken lightly. It cannot be effectively and meaningfully done before we have felt our anger, rage, pain and betrayal. When we give ourselves that space we can then truly experience a deep sense of happiness and joy.
Without forgiveness there will always be unfinished business, loose ends that will get in the way of healthy, happy, loving relationships in the future.
My own past victimhood has gotten in the way of creating happy, healthy, loving and sustainable relationships. My ever-evolving awareness has meant taking responsibility for what I create by acknowledging what I am creating (pain and suffering), not judging my feelings about it and continuing to love myself through the process, be willing to see the perfection in the situation and choosing peace. The truth is I am not a victim. I will always have a choice to be free and not a victim.
An essential component to the forgiveness process is that of self-forgiveness. Recognizing we live with an internal judge, jury and executioner far worse than any in the world, we must be willing to love and accept ourselves as ever-evolving spiritual beings and offer ourselves the healing gift of self-love through forgiving ourselves first.
Asking for forgiveness, much like asking for help (vulnerability), comes very, very reluctantly to a lot of us. Once we can take responsibility and ask for what we need, the energy shifts and transformation the relationship we have with ourselves and others.
Without our willingness to change our “story”, without self-forgiveness, without forgiveness of other and without the ability to ask for forgiveness, we limit our growth; we limit happiness and joy; we remain disconnected from our hearts and we limit the meaning of life.
Self-forgiveness and forgiveness of others is critical and when consciously practiced transforms the nature of our relationships.
Check out this insightful video from Colin Tipping, author of Radical Forgiveness; and Radical Self Forgiveness.